Muffin

I never worked for Muffin Spencer Devlin before and did not know what to expect. She was one of the last jobs available for the Rochester International and I was not about to pass it up.

The word was that Muffin was a bit of a character and you never know what to expect, so I was ready for a challenging week. To my surprise, the practice round went well. Except for the time I commented how good the brats on the barbeque grill smelled and was admonished with the question “You like the smell of burning flesh?”, we were getting along fine.

Thursday is when things began to happen. First she brings out a veggie burrito big enough for a family of four. To wash it down, a two-liter bottle of spring water with instructions to remind her to take vitamins at the turn.

On the way to the tenth tee, our first hole, I get my caddie instructions. First she plays using three balls for each nine, rotating a different one each hole. When we get to the green, I give her the putter and she will hand me her glove. I shall put the next ball in the rotation into it but not close the Velcro. This is to prevent noise when being opened. After putting, she will hand me her putter and old ball and I, in turn, the scorecard to her. Then the new ball in the glove.

I am also required to line her up on each tee. When she is correctly aligned I am to say “good”. Never mind that we did not perform this ritual during our practice round. She trusted me even though I was not familiar with her tendencies.

I didn’t have a problem with the ball switching but the alignment issue was another matter. Every once in a while, Muffin put the club down aiming dead left. When I corrected her she proceeded to hit a terrible shot. After this happened for the third time, she said” No matter where I’m lined up just say good”! Hell, I could have done that from the grandstand.

Needless to say, the rest of the week did not go smoothly. The second and last time I worked for Muffin, in Boston, was a continuation of the first. Some player/caddie teams just aren’t made for each other.

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