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Life on Tour
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I Take Mine Black It was dark and stormy night, not really, I just once wanted to start a story that way. Actually it was early in the morn at the Bent Tree C.C. in Sarasota Florida. The year was 1983 or there about. We were all standing around waiting for our player or potential player to arrive. Frank Chilton (Little Frank) was going through his usual antics. Bothering every one in sight and putting his nose in their business. His MO was to cause trouble then run like hell!
"Little Frank"
Now there was another caddie, who in his own right, had a different set of problems. His name was Vern. I don't think any one knew his sir name or even if Vern was his actual name but that is what he preferred. He didn't have many friends on tour and didn't care for Frank. Vern brought out a large cup of java from the club house and opened up a fresh pack of cigarettes preparing to enjoy a breakfast of caffeine and nicotine. Unwrapping the cellophane he let it fall to the ground. Little Frank, standing close by, noticed Vern's transgression and immediately was in his face. Literally just inches away, pointing to the piece of litter yelling "Pick that up! Don't you know that reflects on all the caddies?" Without hesitation and with an adept flick of the wrist Vern turned that steaming cup of coffee into Frank's second shower of the day! Into his face it went. Frank was speechless. With dropped jaw and outstretched arm, beckoning help from two nearby State Troopers, Frank would have been a perfect model for a Michelangelo sculpture. We all had a good laugh at Frank's expense, even the Troopers. If he had an aversion to coffee before, it was surely bolstered after that day. Vern Update I recently heard that Vern has achieved his 15 minutes of fame. He is currently serving a life sentence for a double homicide he committed in Oklahoma. Shot the neighbors dead. When the police arrived Vern opined "They deserved it".
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