Saturday: It's get-away day. Way back in October, Dina found a great rate for our airfare to Hawaii on ATA for the paltry sum of $335.70 roundtrip. Is that a deal or what? But the old adage "You get what you pay for" kicked in and we all just couldn't wait to deplane once we arrived. One of the A's in ATA surely must stand for awful or atrocious.

I thought it was just me but upon further inquiry, more seats in less space seemed to be the configuration for ATA. Crammed in like sardines, a faulty sound system which left half the plane without audio (my side of course), distorted movie screens, broken seatbacks, no blankets or pillows (unless you wanted to plop down another $9.95 and pay with a credit or debit card, sorry no cash accepted) and with no seat assignments, families were scattered all over the plane about sums it up. Of course, the ubiquitous pay for snacks using the same no cash policy. On top of all that, a small delay on the ground for extra luggage and strong head winds stretched our flight to seven torturous hours.

But the hell didn't end once we evacuated this "aeronautical Titanic". Down computers at Alamo Rental Car (what seemed to be the most popular or cheapest on the island) extended my eventual arrival on  the North Shore another hour and a half.

Finally at midnight, my head hit the pillow for my one night stay at Dina's place before moving into my condo next to the course.

Sunday: With the course still available to amateurs till noon, I delayed my homework till one thirty. It was just about perfect as we (Jeff Steffler and me) didn't catch up to the last group of hackers till the very end. We did have to traverse a myriad of qualifiers, getting in one last practice round, complete with hugs and handshakes to ring in another season.

This track is in excellent shape with firm greens and hard and fast fairways. If the winds howl, red numbers may be hard to come by.

• Is it all in my head? With a few holes remaining, my right shoulder felt as if that pencil I had been using was a fifty pound golf bag! Sharp joint pain was taking the pleasure out of my initial stroll on this field of competition. Did the act of walking the course trigger a pain response in anticipation of tomorrow's actual work? Or was it just an anomalousness reaction to an unnoticeable funky move, executed during my saunter, that will dissipate with a little R&R. We'll see.

• Best laid plans: Dina had miscalculated her status for entry into the early events on the schedule and will have to qualify for both. With a short field because of daylight restraints and a few more sponsor exemptions next week put us back in the pack.

Monday: Hawaii is a great place to explore the water except if you're trying to qualify for the first event of the year. Three water balls cost us a total of six shots to finfish +5. The good news is, we're first alternate and still may get in with a another player's misfortune. After all that practice, an amateur and a player that arrived at 1:30 this morning made it in.

Tuesday: We're in! Michelle McGann came up with a bout of food poisoning so we'll be taking her place. At least that's what we heard. Played nine holes and called it a day.

• Contingency plans: It's nice to have your cell peppered with player numbers just in case. It worked out for next week as I lined up Yu Ping Lin for that event. If Dina makes it in, Lisa Kiggens will be on the bag. She and her husband Rob are coming to the islands cause Rob was planning to loop for A. J.

• No break in period: Not for some of us at least. After the qualifier, I put in another nine with Yu Ping and lined up the bag for "The Nerd". He looped for Kris Tamulis in the qualifier and failed to make it also.

Another cadero who didn't have it easy was Thane Allyson. Now working for Michelle Redman, had to drag 19 sticks around yesterday. She took it easy on him today and only brought along 18!

 

Thane, countin' a bag full of iron.

 

• New jockeys: if you have followed The Caddie Corner in the past, you noticed the new name on Redman's bag. "Coffee Joe" and Michelle parted ways at the end of last season and Thane in his stead. hear are a few more match ups. Coffee Joe and Sheri Steinhauer, mark Scott and Maru Martinez, B.O.B. and Candy Hannemann, Shadow and Clarissa Childs, Louie Paolini and Sara lee, Chad and Page McKenzie. But the best of all is a story within itself. 

Last year, Portland john picked up Meena Lee for Ko Olina (after Woody's mom passed away and he went home) and came away with the win. But as of last Thursday, he was empty for both Hawaii events. A little disconcerting to say the least since he lives here and didn't want to get shut out. Well, he got to know the caddie master during the Champions Tour who happened to be ours also. A call came in for a player needing a looper and he snagged the bag. You know who it was? Meena lee that's who! Both weeks this time and maybe more.

Wednesday: Dina signed up for a pro-am (to benefit our troops overseas) so I had the day off but an impromptu visit to the dentist will occupy part of my afternoon.

• Get moving: A new slow play policy (see it here) is in effect and two player/caddie meetings were scheduled for today to explain it all. I took in the morning session and it's basically putting the onus on the players to keep pace. Hefty fines will result for repeated infractions so peer pressure may help to move us along. It seems the greatest consumption of time is caused by player-caddie interaction especially on the greens. A study found the PGA takes an average of three and a half minutes per green, the Champions only three but the LPGA pokes along at a whopping five minutes! Not being ready to play from the fairway is another bugaboo for the same reason.

• Hold on a second; My backup bag for next week turned out not to be a sure thing after all. Yu Ping is now sixth alternate as a few players who skipped this week are playing. Just need to finish top ten and my problems will be solved.

• Good news; The dentist found nothing wrong. His wife will be one of the walking scorers which must be the reason the bill was so low. Only $22 including an x-ray. Spent more than that on a few items at the grocery yesterday.

• You're bluffin'; The rage du jour, Texas Holdem, has not bypassed the LPGA Tour. A group gathered in the player hotel yesterday for an old fashioned stare-down with caddie Ernie Beck (second from the left) taking home most of the loot..

Tina Barrett, palming an ace?

Thursday: Just couldn't get a thing goin' and finished +2.

• Under the knife: Joe Bonica (AKA Einstein) has been hobbling around for years as a result of arthritic hips and finally could take no more. One hip has been replaced and the other is on the way. Now if they could just straighten out that loop in his backswing.

Friday: Another bad day but one more stroke this time. Down the road in out first event.

• Didn't take long: Kyeong Bae had a fresh looper on the bag this morning. Wonder if yesterday's 81 had something to do with it?

• Gotcha! When asked to speed it up by her playing partner Becky Morgan, Aram Cho stared back as if Becky had four heads. Their group was timed twice yesterday with Aram finally getting two added to her card. Even after the penalty, she was clueless concerning the infraction. On top of that, the entire group accumulated two black marks towards that magic number of ten.

• Keep the light on for me: Lisa Kiggens, along with her husband Rob, was scheduled to head for Bakersfield CA for her induction into The Bob Elias Kern County Sports Hall of  Fame then onto Hawaii for the Ko Olina tournament, but a couple feet of snow in their hometown of Horseheads NY has left them stranded. She missed the ceremonies but will be here next week.

• Tastes OK to me: Hear about that Peter Pan Peanut Butter recall? "The Nerd" has two jars from the suspect batch (bought two for the price of one) and has consumed the first already. So far, no fever, upchucks or trots.

• More loot: Dina and Danielle snagged gorenter.com as an added sponsor. Let's do 'em proud ladies and cash a big one.

• Whooooo are you? (to be sung like the CSI theme): New caddie IDs will be issued this year with full background checks performed for "the player's security". This will not go over very well with a few caderos I know. I wonder, if security is truly the reason, how about players who hire local caddies? I bet they get a pass on any check.

Saturday: Yu Ping came up just one shot short of a top ten so work for next week is still up in the air. It was just howling today as the scores indicated.

Hung out at the hotel pool and took in the eye candy with Mr. Steffler.