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My player this week is Dina Ammaccapane
Sunday: A 430
mile drive, much of it in the rain, and an hour sitting in traffic finished
off my day.
Monday: Nary a sole to
be seen but it is still 6:00 AM. The weekend
rains put the kibosh on early practice rounds which left the entire
course to the caderos. You seldom have this chance at The Open.
The wind will be a major factor this week of course, but
skill around the greens will put you in the money. They're small and slope
severely. The ninth and eighteenth holes may play the toughest. Long par
fours with uphill approaches.
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X marks the spot; Well, not quite an X.
A little twist has been added to the mix as this is a track that
relies on Mother Nature to water the fairways which leaves few markers
to measure the distance to the front of the green. The absence of
sprinkler heads, our old standby, has us scratching our butts for
ideas. George Lucas (our bible maker) has included some reference
points but they may be confusing to some. e.g. A point dissecting a
line between the flagpole on the left and the crow's nest in the right
trees is 179 to the front. Yeah, right! But one ingenious bag toter
has carved out a niche (more like a notch) for himself (if you
catch my meaning) where needed. Let's just call them "Scraper
Scratches". They'll be there all week and we have em lasered.
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You're out a hear;
Getting the axe just before The Open is liken to a knee in the jewels
as I'm sure Motion found out last Sunday. Angela Stanford and he
parted ways at the end of the week. Maybe that 80 in the final round
had some influence.
Tuesday:
Played an early eighteen and beat a few balls. What more is
there to do?
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Size (of your drives)
does matter; Looks like the wind may be the deciding factor
after all this week. Playing wickedly long and almost as if the USGA
would like to see Michelle Wie have The Open as her first pro win.
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Still 98.6; No
"Open Fever" in
this bag. Dina is taking this week as just another tournament. You
should see the grinding going on. Another Major with coaches lined up
as far as the eye can see.
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You bag stealin b- - - h!
I imagine those were the words uttered by one
veteran looper after finding out his promised job for The Open (a
condition stipulated if they qualified) was nixed by his player's
girlfriend. This naive rookie (who I believe has only played well with
a tour caddie all year) acquiesced to purely selfish demands and fired
him to hire her. I guess being "whipped" is gender neutral.
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No pics; Haven't
found anything unusual to snap but if you wish to take a tour of the Newport
area check
this site out.
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Let's eat; It was
a bit slow on organizing the goodies for us caderos but it's coming
around nicely. Some hot eats for lunch today included beef tips with
mushrooms and pulled barbeque pork. Tater salad on the side made for a
satisfying lunch.
Wednesday:
Being the second second group off the first tee and only
playing nine holes, we finished with thirty minutes to spare before
the excrement collided with the ventilation apparatus. 40+ mph winds
along with an on and off rain (with one torrential downpour) pelted
this venue catching many spectators unprepared. One benefit though,
the merchandise tent experienced a slew of action. The wind howled so
much at one point, a crunched tee ball from Laura Davies failed to
reach the fairway bunker on twelve which stood a mere 190 yards out.
Reverend Paolini saying grace?
Couldn't agree more.
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Where's the beef
(people)? Time will tell if this was the most apt venue for
the 2006 Open. Compared to last year, held at Cherry Hills in Denver,
the crowds are sparse and doesn't quite have the feel most opens do.
Usually a magnate for golf aficionados country wide, the exorbitantly
steep tariffs for hotels and lack of the same may have put a damper on
plans for the annual trip to "Mecca".
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WHAM! POP! BAM!
An old episode of Batman you say? How about a real life display of
cyber-rage. Last week found one (frustrated beyond belief) cadero
doing to his computer what only most of us wish we had the gonads to
do. After losing the ability to use AOL (probably his fault) and
spending five hours on the phone with a "Pakistani prodigy"
only to to be told it was HP's problem, comported a performance of
smashes and body slams that would make a WrestleMania
participant proud. This devastating attack had his laptop crying
"uncle" and just barley operational. A screen resembling a
pattern only an arachnologist (spider expert, so you don't have to
look it up) would appreciate was the result and a brand spanking new
Gateway is now in its stead.
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Best advice ever spoken?
I'm sitting here in the lobby of the Howard Johnson's and a few feet
away a gentleman of Indian or Pakistani decent is on his cell speaking
his native language. After a lengthy conversation he exasperatedly blurted
out in English "Just hit the ball!" "Open Fever"
has no boundaries.
Thursday:
Arrived at 6:00 AM and departed at 3:30 PM but no golf was ever
played. Heavy fog foiled our Pollyannaish fantasies of being the first round
leader, as we spent most of our day in the caddie tent where an endless
supply of food and drink (non-alcoholic) pacified our restless souls. From
bacon (ham after that expired) and eggs in the morn to herb ziti with a smattering
of chicken for lunch, we stuffed ourselves till we couldn't take it anymore.
Basically, we got paid to eat.
The day was eventually cancelled,
so we do it all again tomorrow and finish with thirty-six on Sunday
without repairing.
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Did I hear right?
Dale Jones has been toting for Moira Dunn for the past six weeks and,
during a stint on the "rock pile", she issued a compliment
one would not expect to be attributed in his direction. "Dale has
been very influential" or something on that order which, if
you knew Dale, know why everyone within ear shot burst out laughing. Is it
possible he has an enigmatic side not seen by his fellow acquaintances.
NAH!
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House rules; One
of the bunkers on the sixth or seventh hole is extremely close to the
water table and, with more rain expected, an unusual decision has been
made if one's ball finds a watery position within its confines. You
may drop in the bunker and play it or play the entire trap as ground
under repair. You may even choose the second option even after
performing the first. Don't see that very often.
Another anomaly is a mandatory
drop into a designated area if your ball rests against or close to (impeding
your stance or swing) one of the many TIO's (Temporary Immoveable
Obstructions) such as bleachers and TV towers situated around the
greens. This is to save time from determining the closest point of
relief.
Friday:
Overnight boomers dumped a few extra buckets of "Newport
nectar" on an already saturated Open track leaving the grounds crew
scrambling to get it back in shape and having the USGA move the tees up
to compensate for the added length. It also precluded spectators from
following groups on holes seven, eight and nine due to soggy conditions.
Our plus five round was a good
indication of the lack of quality shots Dina executed today. Too many
missed greens, leaving us short-sided in bunkers resembling gravel
covered hardpan, took its toll. More range time than usual afterward
was necessary.
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Slow-mo; Why
is it we can play a practice round with a threesome on the front and
four on the back, hit multiple shots off the tee and to the green,
chip and putt to our heart's content and still play faster than
three players playing one ball during the tournament? Under five
hours for practice and five twenty for the first round.
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Had to happen;
Among the many players in the field with the sir name of Kim, one
stands out. Kimberly Kim takes the cake winning the "what were
her parents thinking" award. Kim-Kim, should I turn right of
left?
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Parting is such sweet
sorrow; Just
found out today that J-Ro and her caddie of a year and a half Donna
"Wanna" went their separate ways last week. After their disappointing first
round she decided to have her brother tote the bag and "that
was all she wrote".
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Hey, play fare;
One of our playing partners had two drops from casual water (one in
a bunker) and, in my opinion, were not taken at the closest point of
relief. She seemed to gravitate to an spot which gave her the best
advantage especially the one in the trap. Avoiding an area just
behind the ball (giving her a downhill lie) she went off to the side
which made the shot much easier. The amazing part is they were
watched by our rover (rules official and winner of this week's
Mr. Magoo award) who
had no objection.
Saturday:
This could have been one of the most masterful short game
displays I've ever seen including a phenomenal up and down on our final
hole to make the cut on the nose. Get your comfy shoes ready for
tomorrow Dina, we got a marathon ahead.
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Crunch time;
Dave Brooker, looping for Beth Bauer, took it on the chin yesterday
(actually his elbow) while riding his bicycle near the course. An
NBC employee made an unexpected u-turn with his golf cart right into
Dave's path and wiped him out. Wound up with a shattered elbow.
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Peek-a-boo, I see you;
Golf has always been a game of fashion along with skill and this
week always brings out the best of attire. Short skirts abound on
many of these lovely lasses but comes with one major caveat. You
must be aware of body position while teeing up the ball. Yesterday,
one striking amateur was giving a show on the range rivaling anything found in
the seedier establishments of town. While putting the peg in the
ground, she raised her leg so high for so long, she could
have sold advertising space on the crotch of her panties! For a pretty penny I may
add.
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And another thing;
Poor results at The Open may test the best of caddie/player relationships.
Heard one long time pair was having quite the discussion after
missing the cut and as usual, it was one sided with the cadero
getting "torn a new one".
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Forget something?
Kyeong Bae must have been in quite a rush to get out of Dodge after
missing the cut cause she forgot to remove her clubs from the
shuttle van and they wound up back at the club. Same one who drove
all the way to Tampa, with one day yet to play in Atlanta, thinking it was
a three dayer.
Sunday: SURVIVED!
That's about the best way to describe the day. A total of three birds
for the week and a short game that took a siesta today, left us towards
the bottom of the pack. It always amazes me how hard we try to get into
The Open and how much hell we go though once we get here.
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