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My player this week is Kim Saiki
Week Off:
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So that's what it was; Decided to spend
the week here in Phoenix and opted for the Intown Suites in Gilbert.
It's in a nice area, at the right price and close to an auto repair
facility of my choice. I've been having trouble with a vibration
between 40-60 mph and, before heading for Mexico, had the right CV
joint and rack and pinion bushings replaced at Sun Devil Auto. They
were both shot but it failed to fix the problem. Another Sun Devil at
120 W. Baseline is in walking distance of my current digs so I dropped
off my car today. Also, like many cars on the road today, my check
engine light had been on for quite some time, but feeling it was
unrelated to the current problem, opted not to pay the extra $96
diagnostic fee. Turns out Chuck (service advisor) was an avid
golfer and we struck up a conversation. Before I knew it, he had a technician
analyze and repair the cause of the warning light, a vacuum leak,
gratis (since I was part of the golfing community). What a deal! The
original problem did not exactly have a cut and dry solution as no
apparently loose or worn parts were evident. The best guess ( I just
hate to do that) was the other CV joint. Having 188K on the odometer
and being the original part, it seemed the logical choice. Bingo! That
did the trick. Running smooth once again. A dozen Callaways for Chuck
was the least I could do.
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I just had it;
Jeff (The Protector) Steffler
rang me up and was in a bit of pickle. Seems after going through the
security screening at PHX yesterday left his laptop sitting on the conveyor
belt! Being online at the time, I quickly found the number to lost and
found and passed it along. They actually still had it and promised to
ship it with a next day delivery. May have been a blessing in disguise
if someone had snatched it up. Jeff really needs a replacement in the
worst way.
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Say uncle,
Sam that is; The last item on my agenda was the annual 'pocket
picking' by the Fed's. With April 15th fast approaching, it was best
to dismiss, with expediency and extreme prejudice, the Spring blood
letting. Why we put up with such a convoluted mish-mash of rules and
regulations is beyond me. A flat or consumption tax must be the way to
go.
Sunday: With no prospects
of work, I was resigned to toting for an amateur in the pro-ams and
possibly spotting for TV the rest of the week. But as I approached the
apex of Chiraco Summit, answering the ring on my cell put me in
touch with Kim Saiki who was looking for a looper. Jay Rothenberg, her scheduled
caddie, was unable to make it and she heard I was looking. Another last
minute snag when it looked like all was lost. Now, if my Lotto ticket
would only hit ...
With just 50 miles left on the
short trip from Phoenix, I was able to make it for today's shotgun start
practice round. Having a week off enabled many contestants and their
caddies to arrive early and get an extra chance to see the course. We
played with Soo Young Moon and was fortunate not to have any amateurs as
some groups did. We started on the thirteenth and turned into an easy day,
being on buggies, but couldn't help noticing the circus playing just in front.
Wiezie and her entourage, including the ubiquitous David Ledbetter, were
doing their best to hold up the show. We called it a day after playing the
par three eighth as the internal dinner bell was making itself heard.
Monday: Awoke with the
chickens for my morning practice loop. The sun rises around 5:30 and an
early arrival ensures an almost empty course. Played the front by
ourselves but again ran into the traveling circus of Michelle and her clan
but minus a few clowns. They let us through on the sixth and we were
eventually joined by Moira Dunn and her cadero Dave Brooker at the turn. That
second nine was a non-stop gab fest touching on a variety of subjects but
mostly tour gossip. Went by in a flash.
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Fool me once shame on
you ... After getting a
royal screwing from Meena Lee in Sacramento last year, Tom Konapacki
jumped right back on the horse, so to speak, by opting for another Korean
player this season. Kyeong
Bae and Tom hooked up and all seemed swell. But when he took ill
in Phoenix her dad worked for and played well. The consequence was a pink slip
along with the check at the end of the week. The explanation? "My dad makes
all the decisions" was the best she could do. With a limited
field major next on the schedule what chance did she think he would be
able to find a job? Now the rest of the story. The father and daughter
duo got into a tiff during today's practice round and asked her
playing partner Tina Barrett if she could carry her own bag. That
being a major no-no, she hired an unemployed looper that just happened
to show up on the next tee. I have a feeling this will be Tom's last
go-around with a 'kimchi cruncher'. Whoa! Before you bombard my site
with protests, that is not intended to be a racial slur. This behavior
is becoming increasingly common with the proliferation of the 'Asian Persuasion'
and I just thought it was fitting. Seems the ones that send their
parents packing are much more well adjusted. You just don't treat
people that way.
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Party on; The
annual bash held at The Beer Hunter in Cathedral City was held a few
days early but didn't deter the invitees. Great food and all the adult
beverages you wish to consume. Even a few celebrities made an appearance
during the festivities.
Scraper, Stick Puller,
Woodman, Christina Kim, Louie (way back) Jeff and Tina Barrett
Steffler putting a move on
Donna Wilkins
"You do it like this
Jeff". Kate golden demonstrates on Shaun Clews
Caddie Matt Gelczis and Super
Dave Osborne
Tuesday: Our DFL start afforded
the extra time needed to update my site this morning. Too many Labatts
Blue last night for me to make any sense. The wind howled on our second
nine of the pro-am but the San Jacinto Mountains rung the moisture from
the threatening clouds like a gay caballero preparing for a towel snap on
unsuspecting butt cheeks in a San Francisco bath house. Not that I would
know what that's like but I can imaging. Nice visual isn't it? In other
words, no rain. Finished in
the dark but only one donut emerged as they reached into pockets on the
eighteenth. A profitable day it was.
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Busted; Heard a
newbie to this season's caddie circuit was escorted to the hoosegow
at the Safeway event for trying to buy some blow. Nice way to start
out.
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Another year down the
toilet; Louie 'The Lip' Paolini celebrated his 43rd birthday
today by dumping a glass of water into Steffler's plate of chicken
piccata at dinner. Sure, it was an accident.
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Food talk; One
of our pro-am guys grew up in Cincinnati and of course I couldn't help
bring up the ribs from Montgomery Inn and White Castle hamburgers.
Used to get a sack of 'sliders' from the latter for a paltry sum.
Wednesday: Couldn't have
been an easier day. Played the Palmer Course in the morn, rode buggies all
the way around right up to our ball and was on the receiving end of a large
gratuity. But I'm still waiting for that Lotto ticket to come in. Maybe
asking too much.
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No-show? We're
paired with Marisa Baena tomorrow (first time for twosomes off both
tees) but may wind up as a solo. She withdrew from today's pro-am with
a multitude of maladies.
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Not as E-Z as it looks;
Cadero Keith Kennedy dropped in on the local EZ
Lube coming back from the course yesterday for the most routine of
maintenance procedures on his 92 Ford Ranger, a simple oil change even
a chimpanzee can perform. Apparently, the chimps are one step higher
on the evolutional ladder than the EZ Lube crew cause they failed to
notice that the old gasket did not come off with the filter. Gasket on
gasket does not provide the best of sealing material and before he
realized it, a terrible knocking noise alerted his cerebellum of
impending doom. An engine without oil is like a caddie without a loop.
It ain't work'n! An estimate of $1500 and a completion date of next
week is what's left. Of course, the primates at the EZ Lube are
footing the bill.
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You weigh a ton, hon; There
are some days that no matter how hard the pro tries, she contributes
zilch to the pro-am group. Tina Barrett had one of those days today
and her team had to carry her for eighteen holes.
Might have been worse. They
could have been playing with ... I'll bite my tongue now.
Thursday: Lorena
must have sucked all the birds out of this track cause our twosome
couldn't buy one. Shot +2.
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Chow down; Kraft
really knows how to take care of their guests and a big part of that
is the hospitality tent situated next to the practice chipping green.
An epicurean array of tasty treats awaits players, guests and even caddies
most of the day, with a different theme for the main course of steam
tables. Yesterday is was Italian, the day before Oriental. But wait, there's more. If your tastes need to be satisfied in another
capacity how about the salad bar, deli, hot dog cart, California Grill
(scrumptious onion rings and cheese steaks and burgers) or everyone's favorite, the ice cream bar. A variety of flavors
to choose from (my favorite is mocha almond fudge) for just a scoop or pile
it high on a mountainous banana split. Did I mention one of the best
chocolate malts on the planet? Lest not forget the open bar for those
who wish to sup on barley, hops or a bit of the grape. BURRRRP! One caveat
though, many of the coffee cups are defective and dribble all over
your socks!
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Storkitis; The
foibles of pregnancy sidelined both Leta Lindley and Heather
Dailey-Donofrio today. They never teed it up.
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ICE-capades; Chad
Payne (AKA-ICE for I Can Eat), a recent graduate of Thee Ohio
State University, is not having the best of weeks. Scenario #1 had him
leaving the rental car he was sharing with his roommate in the caddie
parking lot cause he failed to check his phone messages before
departing. The keys were neatly tucked away on the front wheel waiting
for ICE to retrieve but it was not to be. He hitched a lift back to
the hotel and left his ride behind. Scenario #2 was a real wash, so to
speak. Relaxing in the hot tub after a tough day on the links, the
ring of a cell phone had him instinctively reach into the pocket of
his swim trunks for his own device. Unfortunately, it was there!
That's right, ICE climbed into the bubbling brine with his cell by his
side. On a positive note, his plan was about to expire so a new phone
was an upgrade from the hand crank model he was using.
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Grim Reaper strikes out;
While heading for the practice green yesterday, we ran into Debbie
Steinbach, who played on the tour many moons ago, and what a tale
she had to tell. A quick synopsis-went to China, took ill, treatment attacked
my kidneys, infection spread to other organs, was on death's door,
doctor's gave up hope, was given the Last
Rites, miraculously recovered, feel great now and currently
engaged to be married. Think about that when you're having a bad day.
Friday:
After six holes an early departure from 'The Springs' was in the offing
and I was already planning my route and stops to Atlanta. We were +7 for
the event and rising but the unpredictability of the game of golf worked
in our favor this time. The swing came together and the putts started to
fall. Finished +4 and will be playing on the weekend. Good thing too,
Kim's husband and parents are in the gallery.
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Is this a joke?
And you thought the pairing of Natalie Gulbis and 'Big Ben'
Rothlisberger was over. Romantically yes, but Wednesday's pro-am had
them playing together. Wonder what idiot thought it would be a good idea. Would
have liked to been a fly on that golf bag.
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Does your wiener measure
up? May be the question of the week.
Oscar Mayer Wienermobile
displayed on the way to the first tee.
Saturday:
Our threesome left their 'A' games in the
barn and may have rung up the highest cumulative score for any group
today. A whopping 23 over par! We even threw in a four putt on the eight.
Nowhere to go but up tomorrow, so playing it safe is not an option.
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Thank
you, thank you very much; On my way to the caddie lot, a cry
of "Are you Larry?" alerted my senses. Knowing my bills were
up to date and the tone was not intimidating, I turned to answer. Two
of my website readers, visiting from Seattle, wished to express their
gratitude for my efforts. A short conversation revealed the 'Premature
Bibulation' piece as one of their favorites. Mine too.
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Good
news a coming; Look for a couple really big deals in the near
future for the LPGA. Heard it from the 'top dog' herself.
Sunday:
Much, much better today. Shot -1 and
made a few extra bucks.
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CORRECTION:
Received a call from Moira Dunn and it turns out the story regarding
the demise of two of her clubs was totally bogus. Just slightly dinged
is all. Sorry Moira. Chalk it up to GIGO.
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Look
for, the union label ... The hospitality tent was packed with
people viewing the exciting finish of today's play on a host of well
placed TVs, when an announcement blared over the loud speaker
betokening imminent closer at 3 PM. A loud response of boos echoed
throughout but alas, the only reply by the electronic utterance was
"Sorry". No OT for those unionites.
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The
saga continues; Flipper has been making daily appearances, having
spent the Winter here looping at a local club, and was queried on the absence
of his automobile. Unable to dodge the question, he admitted it was
confiscated by the gendarmes after being involved in some drug
transaction. The best we can figure, a friend borrowed the vehicle and
was caught either dealing or buying. Some friend.
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Go
for it; The next time someone bemoans the way LPGA courses are
set up, remember the final round of this event the last two years. By
moving up the tee 45 yards eagles are no longer an endangered species.
Great to see the big hitters going for an island green with everything
on the line.
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