KRAFT NABISCO CHAMPIONSHIP 

MISSION HILLS C.C.

RANCHO MIRAGE, CA 

Empty this week.

Monday: Just when I thought it was going to be slow news week, since I didn't have a player, KAPOW!

Started off with a practice round with Christina. Her dad decided to take today off and I had a chance to make up for the what I thought would be two pro-am days. The second is to be played on the Palmer Course and the pros may take carts. Ergo, my services were not needed.

In the just when you think you've seen it all department.  If you've ever been in the Southwest you may have noticed the Saguaro cactus which are pot-marked with nesting holes created by woodpeckers. Well, this is what Christina's bag reminded me of. In an never ending quest to rid the bag of any unnecessary weight, her dad removed the handle by cutting an extremely large hole at each mounting point. They must be 2x3 inches in diameter exposing the innerds. The shafts are clearly visible. In a heavy downpour this thing will fill up faster than the Titanic!

We went out with only two balls which became a point of contention tween father and daughter when an third tee ball was required on the 11th hole. I stayed out of it.

We got out to the 14th when Robert O. drove up and reminded Christina that she signed up for a hole-in-one contest which sponsored by Toyota. He gave us a lift back and we joined some other pros and amateurs whom participated. The cool thing was that the pros had to make an ace to win anything but the closest amateur won a car. After finishing we headed back out to complete our practice round as darkness was quickly approaching.

Twice during the round I was addressed as Mr. Kim. Correction! I do not look Korean!

Grace Park withdrew from last week's pro-am and tomorrow's due to a bad back. This creates quite a dilemma since she is scheduled to play in Wednesday's also. You see, each player is allowed one free pro-am exemption with the next one resulting in a $500 fine. But the kicker is that any subsequent withdrawals result in a disqualification from the tournament. You heard right. If she doesn't play on Wednesday she's out.

Congrats to Beth Daniel on her ace last week and a big thank you to her caddie Dale Jones for not entering the hole-in-one pool. Don't know how much is in it but there's a carry over from last season.

Tuesday: Our day started off with a bang, literally. A large crash got our attention on the range. Seems one of the volunteers lost control of his golf cart, rammed into a tree, kissed the roof support with his teeth and performed a perfect summersault onto the ground. OUCH!

Our group consisted of Jim Plunkett and three middle-aged ladies with Jim being the least accomplished player. We weren't in contention but had a great time. Jim did have the highlight of  the round chipping in for eagle on the eleventh.

The annual party hosted by Kraft-Nabisco was held at the Beer Hunter. Plenty of good food and an open bar. It was very well attended by the players many of which were looking very hot including Christy Kerr, Laura Diaz and Natalie Gulbis.

Wednesday: Picked up an amateur for the day and played with Lorena Ochoa. Another good time finishing 15 under. Hope Lorena hits it better starting tomorrow, wasn't pretty today. Just could have been her pro-am swing.

The rough is getting deep. Lost three balls today. Plenty of leaves on the ground make it difficult to see them. The average age of the volunteers doesn't help either.

Coffee 'n a donut usually make a good combo except for this week. "Coffee Joe" got the donut (no tips) for both pro-am days. First time he ever got stiffed here.

Word is Nancy Lopez's competitive juices are flowing again. She's thinking of getting back in shape and start playing more.

David Ledbetter is here for Ms. Wie this week. Fanny on the bag and Dave in the barn, what a duo.

Seems Shadow is a bit sensitive about the "Two Shot" moniker. I called him "Two Shot" and he said "You should get that off" meaning my website. I think the caddie protests too much. He has no qualms ripping other caddies or players but when the joke's on him he's mister sensitive.

Thursday: Whole lot a noth'n go'n on. Tried to get a TV job but they were taken. Though I did run into Janice Moody standing next to her ball on the street that boarders the tenth hole. Seems they didn't take a rule sheet and weren't sure if the road was OB. OF COURSE IT IS! Add one and reload on the tee.

Flipper strikes again. He was working the pro-am yesterday for a foursome from Safeway and since they were all on carts it's easy duty. Just chase down their golf balls and keep 'em clean. Aree Song was the pro and Tex, whom related this story to me, was on the bag. Tex did most of the chasing and conveyed to Flipper that a little consideration was due for doing his work for him. Well Tex got the donut this time. He ran into the foursome later and they asked if Flipper, who pocketed $440, took care of him? It was implied that a portion of that generous out-lay was meant for Tex but Flipper would have none of it. He kept it all and even after confronted by Tex, refused to have up. Any wonder why he's at the top of most everyone's s--t list.

Friday: It was inevitable. Tex was let go after yesterday's round along with Aree's coach from what I hear. I won't get into the details but they beat him to it by a day. It was amazing what he had to go through. Her dad is too much to deal with.

During the practice round with Christina I noticed what poor condition the course was in compared to past years. The fairways were spotty, bunkers not taken care of and the greens just so-so. It reminded me of a muny layout. Now I know why. According to one of the officials, ClubCorp USA, whom manages Mission Hills, cut the maintenance budget by $200,000! You get what you pay for.

I was planning to following the Michelle Wie group on the back nine but after watching them on the ninth green and tee off on ten I just didn't want to spend 2 and 1/2 hours out on the course. When you've been inside the ropes as long as I have it's like watching paint dry. Sorry ladies.