SBS OPEN

TURTLE BAY RESORT

OAHU, HAWAII

My player this week is Jill McGill

Sunday: ALOHA! Greetings from paradise. Couldn't be in a better place to start the season.

 The pane trip from Dallas was uneventful except for two minor anomalies. I was seated in an exit row with along with the seats behind us and as customary, the flight attendant makes sure everyone is comfortable with the idea of handling an emergency situation and the procedure to open the escape door. On this particular aircraft the door is to be removed and placed across the seats but the guy behind me was adamant that the door should be thrown to the outside clear of the aircraft since this was the procedure used on the last plane he traveled on. Being firm but polite, the attendant assured the man's dubiousness assertion was incorrect and that he was in charge and knew what he was doing. The same bozo complained about having to pay for his in-flight repast. Figures.

The second oddity was during the playing of the second movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's". The sound wasn't playing and no one seemed to care. I was in the first row of coach and the attendants were all the way back in the galley, so I turned around to see if anyone was going to get up and let them know. Not a chance! They were fixated on the silent screen and seemed to be in a mesmerizing stupor. I was the only one to get up and walk back to clue them in. Unbelievable!

Managed to walk the back nine before dark and there isn't too much to this track. Generous firm fairways and huge greens. The rough is a bit spotty which may cause  some problems but the wind will be the only factor that may make this course difficult. Should be a putting contest.

Monday: Played 11 holes then ran into the qualifiers. Slowed down to a crawl so we packed it in. Put in some time putting and chipping and a little on the rock pile (the range).

Former tour player and Golf Channel on course announcer Lisa Kiggens will be looping for Dina Ammaccapane the next two weeks. She's toting the big bag this week but Dina will bring out the light one for Mexico City. Plenty of hills and 7000 ft elevation necessitates the change.

Believe it or not, a couple caddies came here without work but will probably get some. If not, it's not a bad place to hang out as long as the money lasts.

If you ever come to Hawaii bring plenty of cash. We rented a condo with plans on cooking most of the week but you really have to watch the prices before filling your basket. Many items are double or more in price. Not that I'm complaining.

Tuesday: Our original plans were to sign up for a tee time around 10:00 but come out early and play the back nine first. That way, we make the turn and be ready to play the front to finish at a reasonable hour. But the lack of players on the back changed all that. Jill decided that extra on course chipping and putting would be more beneficial than seeing the front again so we made it a nine hole day. Rounded our day off with plenty of putting, pitching and some range work.

Some players wind down with a lazy day at the pool but a few would rather take to the gym or put in a few miles jogging. This is a tale of one player, whom shall remain nameless, that decided on the latter. With her iPod pumping tunes to her brain she took off for what would turn out to be quite an interesting run. Blazing her own trail, she eventually found herself on the beach and approaching what seemed to be a solitary man lying on the sand. As she drew closer she realized he was not alone but with a female companion whom was administering a little oral gratification! The gentleman, eyeing the jogger whom was closing in with every step, was not dissuaded and carried on as if she wasn't even there. "Jive Talk'n" was the MP3 selection of choice at the time and will surely forever be associated with this indelible erotic impression.

Wednesday: We were late alternates for the pro-am and touched on all facets of the game for the few hours we were there. Just a typical day.

A little nasty weather frequented the course with threatening showers and gusty winds. If this keeps up it'll put a little bite in this track. So long putting contest.

It's funny who may show up at one of these events. Jill was approached by some guy while heading for the putting green who asked her "Would you like to see my golf invention?" To her credit, she dispatched him with aplomb and not a "Don't bother me!" retort as would be expected from some lesser players.

With all the new faces out here the LPGA theme song should be the one used on CSI Las Vegas. "Whooooo are you?"

Thursday: We definitely had the better end of the flop with our afternoon tee time but couldn't close on what could could have been a top 10 finish. Made the turn -2 but bogied a few coming in to finish +1.On two of the reachable par 5's Jill wound up in an overgrown divot. On he first on we decided to lay up but went for it on the second and topped it into the water. Ouch!  Maybe a better day tomorrow.

Friday: Disaster! Put one shot on the club face all day to shoot 77. The wind was howling and we were hit with a couple rainstorms one of which cost us a double. Yuck!! Not the way to start the year off. Looks like it's off to Mexico.